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!!*!! Wishing That I Could Drop Dead !!*!!


    !!*!! Wishing That I Could Drop Dead !!*!!



    Cannot go forward, cannot go back,
    Wishing that I could drop dead in my tracks.
    I know I am leaving something behind,
    And it is tearing my spirit inside.

    Choices have always made me aware
    Of contradictions in me - so unfair!
    It seems that it all has to come down to me.
    I wonder if someone my struggles can see?

    Self-hatred, self-torment - familiar sight!
    Alone, be alone, and from it all hide -
    That's my first impulse that won't get me far.
    Is that way for many, or is it my star?

    Maybe I should have simply there stayed,
    And prevented the so unknown fate
    That chills me and makes me so scared.
    Who knows how I would have otherwise faired?

    But my life has passed in change after change,
    Now in security I feel too strange,
    And my restless heart does make me go on.
    Moving and shifting is ever my song!


    *********************

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!!*!! Wishing That I Could Drop Dead !!*!!


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https://blasdellzoo.blogspot.com/2008/03/wishing-that-i-could-drop-dead.html


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